I am...

still trying to figure out how to make the batman symbol with my hands
in love with heathy!
defiantly harboring a hatred towards jokers
hopelessly obsessed with playing solitaire
hopelessly devoted to YOU
sock hopping in the poodle skirts of all poodle skirts
in awe of little cute poofy poodles and their boys :P
boycotting technology
not
in love with my phoney pooo
jolly
professing my infatuation with my funion
not showing any talent towards hula hooping
ex static about new years
looking forward to kicking some ddr toosh
feeling like i got cut in two
missing my beloved monster
wishing i had one of those gosh darn obnoxious yellow slickers
galoshes rock my socks off
never ever gonna change my unmatching socks
eternally grateful for one gal who changed my footwear forever
wondering if people are blinded by the sequins
thinking "oh dear jesus just don't look at the hats PLEASE!"
that painting with farmer and wife. hear me RAWR!
wishing on the mona lisa smiiiile
thinking that pics where u TRY to like a distorted alien are the best kind
remembering et and wishing he would really just GO HOME!
sipping away on the biggest spot of coffee know to mankind
singing
so long
farewell
alvedersain
good night
i hate to go and leave this pretty site
thinking u will turn my day upside down if u know what that is from :)

u know what else makes me mad...?
that ur so damn happy! and i'm here, waiting for u and
u.
don't.
even.
care.
that the things u say make my heart tighten and make me feel nauseous.
nope.
u just go on doing it because it makes YOU feel better.
i'm done caring about u.
lets.
talk.
about.
me.


or not.

freakin life

i really hope that no one reads this ne more cuz i'm about to spill...to a computer...hmmm...and it would be really sad if someone actually found it.
ok so i have problems, and i get that- i really do! i know that i have problems with:
dirty rooms
drinking
being in a relationships
being a perfectionist
singing too loud in the shower
being crazy and hyper so that ppl just can't handle me
saying the wrong thing
not wanting to talk about it
no believing in true love
not trying hard enough
not feeling worthy
hurting people
saying i'm sorry
being to opinionated
so u get it...like i know they are there but seriously, its not like i try to flaunt them in front of your face cuz i think its funny-its NEVER like that. i never mean to say something stupid but oh god there it goes, flying out of my mouth and i just can't take it back. i hate explaining things, it takes too long and sometimes its just none of u freakin business. i hate ppl telling me "well it was ur fault" "um hello? no it wasn't, u did it urself not me!" but somehow it always traces back to me-i mean i get it, i'll take it, i torment myself enough so don't u go doing it too cuz i just don't need it! i've got it- i know already, i don't need to be reminded over and over again about things that happened so long ago. and what is so wrong with wanting to stay in touch with someone after ur not together??? its not bc i want to mess with u or nething but there is part of me that will always love u and care but apparently thats just weird- which kinda fits my definition. i just want the world to stop blaming me and stop FIGHTING me! i can't handle it, not at all and every time i try it just sucks and i feel like i'm getting drowned. Expect i can't tell anybody this because i am the happy one, u know the girl that you see who's always laughing and having a fun time and who has perfect grades and supportive parents and a passion but i can't take it all myself- its just too much. too bad i can't spill with anybody because nobody gets it, no body is actually willing to sit there and listen to me and help. sure- they say they are but u try and see how it works out because in my experience it just doesn't. i can't get my friends or my parents or nebody to listen. i'm obviously just supposed to not feel nething since every time i try to tell them how angry or upset or just plain helpless i feel they just turn away like THEY can't handle it or just don't want to hear it. but how is that really friendship or whatever if u can't be there for the other person? i'm here, i want to listen, i want to help, but y does it feel like the world wants me to struggle by myself.
nobody. nothing. dead. blank. falling.
its just so complicated- i feel bad enough for everything i've done but right now i just need u; i don't need someone to kiss or someone to gossip with. i need someone who will be there and listen to me scream at the world, or to cry with or just to hang out with to get my mind of things. I DON'T NEED WHAT UR GIVING!!! ur always so critical me and how i'm not giving what u want to u but why dont u think about what i need? u don't and i don't understand y. its like i'm not enough, being myself isn't good enough. i've never had nebody who's made me cry as much as u have; i did it when i lost u and i'm doing it again because u keep hurting me and i keep coming back for more. i have never had nebody who blames me as much as u, never had someone who is so self centered and i feel like u don't care. BUT I CAN'T TELL U! bc u freak and i'm done with it. i cannot do it nemore. this is taking so much effort.
but...
i can't stop coming back and it confuses me. i wish life was simple and i wouldn't have to go through this and your just making it harder by pressuring me and being so mean and blunt. it scares me how much of what u say, feel, and think affects my moods. there is no way that i can be happy if i know ur not but i just shouldn't have to go through this.
ok...i'm better...akward TURTLE....

ohh randomness...

i have a bruise on my knee from hitting the barre in musical stage class in which i got my 180 in my back airabesque. woot.

really full of excitement.

about to go to bed- how sad.

won't be able to walk tomorrow.

still marveling over that mint cupcake from shanks that made my day.

trying to decide on an outfit  from tomorrow.

becoming obsessed with scarves and hats.

sad paige is at national convention millions of miles away.

gonna get a cramp.

KINKY. 

pe class.

favorite underwear day tomorrow.

hello victoria's secret!

i love my other half.

the electric blanket should be names best invention ever.

going through withdraw without project runway.

decided on an outfit.

its pretty cute.

actually have to shave tomorrow.

typing with fake nails.

pain.

in. 

butt.

ballet tomorrow.

and tap.

edit.

oh hot dang.

this is my jang.

keep me partyin till the a.ag.

y'all don't understang.

make me throw my hangs

in the AYER AYER AYER.

peace peeps.

i'm out.

HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!

ok so as i said before-its homecoming week which means DRESS UP DAYS!!!! which are the BOMBDIGITY because i don't have decided on an outfit everyday! so today is college apperal day so i'm all decked out in JMU!!! GO DUKES! and yesterday- yeah it was 80's day and i so brought it BACK!

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
and that still doesn't seem like enough.

ATTENTION!!!!!!

please rate these because obviously i'm incapable of deciding on the one i like best and i have to turn ONLY ONE! in so HELP!!!!!!!!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

and of course- IT'S HOMECOMING!!!!!!!! this week and i am SO happy just because didn't u hear me before-

ITS HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crying over some awesome fan fiction...yep i'm a dork...

i have discoved ben lee and it is oh so amazing...

seriously- take a listen to him and u will fall in love...

ok - so i am a true believer in ballet and how calm it makes you feel! and we are doing partnering which makes me so FREAKING nervous cuz i swear i'm gonna fall flat on my face in pointe shoes! lmao! that would be so funnnny! hehehe! i seriously hate ballet but it does wonders to my stress level. Just gotta letitgoooo!
in
out
in
out





HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
APPLES!!!!!!!!!!
lmao! you wouldn't understand- its a BAND THING!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHH
AHHHH
AHH
obviously not the best of days...

SHERANDO HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wish me luck and good mooooves! lmao!

you know why i don't blog nemore??? i mean i check it but i don't write...
BECAUSE MY LIFE IS CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i love it oddly enough. its like i run on this high speed and if u can't keep up then don't waste my precious (and i do mean VERY precious) time. i feel like i can't function if i don't have a million and one things to do all the time, its like i live for being out of my mind busy so i just keep signing up for committes and clubs and community service and leadership stuff and all that jazz which makes me obvioulsy stressed the majority of the time (ask anybody i hang out with- they will tell u true that i am CRAZY when i'm on a role) but i love it! until i hate it cuz i seriously cannot keep up with myself nemore!!!!!!
just got back from dance- sweaty and in lovvve with it!

so tired. totally wiped. oh bugger i cut my finger and i can't type. ouch. i feel out of it.

ice cream...all day...

getting ready to scoop ice cream for another long day! it should be fun fun! but my eyebrow hurts (and is really really red) from where somebody *cough pat cough* hit me in the head with the stupid ice cream cover thing! OUCH! but i'm ok...i guess...lmao! gonna get going!

going SHOPPING!!!! with cat and paigy!!!!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!!!

i'm in a CleANinG fRenZY

FRANTIC!!

i think i forgot over my very lazy summer that i am like the busiest person in the world and that i have absolutely no time for a life when school starts. i spent yesterday and today in a sca retreat with so many dates and things to do and plan for and be at and now i have band camp for 5 hours at 4 again, just like yesterday. and its only going to get BUSIER!!! i have to carry my schedule around with me and my planner and fill every free moment and multitask all the time and do homework in the car on the way to dance b4 it gets too dark to c like it will be when i get out of class and remembering everything i need for dance at the beginning of the day so i can leave right when i get home and making sure i have time for meetings and just being the perfect student that i am have to get a 4.2 gpa and all that jazz and its RIDICULOUS!!! it makes me tired just to think about it so this is y i have an ipod and my dance classes- except those are stressful sometimes too especially when ur teacher is like i'm gonna put u in the back where u belong even tho i'm so the best dancer there (but i'm really not coincided, promise!) so she can just GRRRRRRRR. i love summer so much and now its ending and i have to give up this amazing life i've been living for the equally amazing but dreadfully tiring life that i love oh so much!

Lazy Days are the BEST but... Band Camp is the WORST.

i'm tried.
i'm half asleep.
i need a phone.
i'm hungry.
i need breakfast.
i have to clean.
i have to go to band camp.

its gonna be a great day.

My artistic compulsions

wow these are alot worse then i thought they were...

neways-

1. is a faceless girl- i'll let u know if i ever finish her but i despise faces and i can get everything else so that i'm happy with it and then the face ruins the entire thing so she will be faceless for now!

2. some abstract shapey thing

3. like a litte love quote montage- hmmm what was i thinking??

4.i think i was reading one of the twilight books so that might give u an idea...maybe.

ok 5. and 6. im not really sure what they are?? random things maybe?

days of nothingness...

i. am. so. bored. and. restless.

ughhhh!

i hate this feeling and i always get it during the summer. and i don't know what to do with myself.

so...

i'm making plans for tomorrow! lol!

i'm gonna get up at 6:30am and go for a run while everybody besides me in sleeping in and dreaming because i seriously do think that its the best time to just go out and run. and just think and listen to my music and the air feels so cold but i feel so rejuvinated.

and then i will come home a crash. lol!

probably drink some coffee.

waste some time doing nothing.

put together kay's bday present and work on that and such.

do a whole lot of something.

and make dinner b4 my rents come home.

wow what an exciting day!

the producers!!

going to winchester to c the producers at shenandoah university for their summer musicals program with my ME and then spending the night there! c u tomorrow!

oh my gosh- Pocahontas is coming on disney!!!!!!!!!
and yes i still watch disney channel
and yes i am very proud to say it
and YES I'M SO EXCITED TO C IT AGAIN
and yes i will absolutely sing along!
lalala!!!!!!

ok so alittle DANCE!!!

i have more than 100 posts- its oh so very exciting!!!!

lala! waiting for SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE...dance...dance!!!!

ok so in order to waste time i have this cool thing that i want to do and post! i think i got it in some chain letter but i like it so...

1. What is your occupation??? student- GO GENERALS!!!! ya, i'm really not that school spirity!
2. What color are your socks right now? NONE!!! i'm shoeless- barefoot is the best!
3. What are you listening to right now? Lullaby by Twilight Hour on my ipod
4. What was the last thing that you ate? a HUGE taco salad- so YUMMMY!
5. Can you drive a stick shift? um NO!
6. What color would you be, if you were a color? right now- i'm feeling aqua but that will probably change in 5 minutes!
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone??? paigy at 9am this morning- i don't take many calls!
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? um i'm not sure who sent this to me so...
9. How old are you today? 15!!!
10. Favorite drink??? sprite and lemonade- its all bubbly!
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? swimming- can't wait for the OLYMPICS!!!
12. Have you ever dyed your hair??? no but i hope too ;P
13. Pets? 1 Siberian husky- skamper boy!!!
14. Favorite food? thats easy- CHOCOLATE!! or my dads cappuccino/ hot chocolate mix
15. Last movie you watched in movie theater? The Dark Night (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- it was so amazing!!!)
16. Not sure where 16 went
17. What do you do to vent anger? eat and i tend to get really quiet
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? hmm- thats tough...id have to say i loved play dough and twister
19. What is your favorite season? summer!!! bare feet, no school, the pool, and tanning- what could b better???
20. once again went missing.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? DEFINITELY BLUEBERRY
22. When was the last time you cried? Today
23. Favorite smells? fresh coffee and the smell of the beach and suntan lotion
24. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?cheese
25. Favorite Car? don't drive- but i love my brothers little subaru!
26. Favorite cat breed? not big on cats...
27. Number of keys on your key ring? idk y i even have on but 2
28. Number of years at your current job? don't have one except for alittle babysitting- fun fun...
28. Favorite day of the week? SATURDAY!!!
29. How many states have you lived in? 1!!! Virginia is for lovers!

soaking up some rays and...

I HAVE THE JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
*smiles and giggles*

hmmm not sure what to write...

if i don't know what to write then i have learned it is probably best not to write but...i never listen to myself so whatever. i'm listening to against me: new wave! and its really good actually. i wasn't so sure because it was one of my brothers bands he saw at warped tour but i like it. i'm going to have to get it on my ipod. i wish i knew what to write... i wish alot of things actually. yummmmm warm blackberry goodness! sooo amazingly comforting.
i think i'm in a funk. and it sux. not like nething bad has happened. its like looming and impending badness and like sometimes i just get really restless with myself. like i don't have ne clue what to do and then i try to focus on things or keep myself busy but i can't. its driving me absolutely crazy and i have somehow decided to talk to the rentals which makes me want to go hide under some friendly rock with a smiley face painted on it. i need a big smiley face. and a really big hug. and something to keep me extremely busy. so to heal all lonely (y am i lonely?? who knows?? i'm surrounded by 3 other incredibly close ppl but is that even the right word- lonely??) wounds and other things and such i of course turn to my lovely depressed playlist. ahhh my ever faithful music. how i love u.

AND PAIGY!!! i wan't sure if ud check the comments so i put some really big bold obnoxious purple letters on my post, but thursday?? works for me!! always check under the newest post and i'll prob leave one just for u! and i know- ask pat, that movie FREAKED ME OUT!!! lol! i'm such a baby but i had the weirdest dreams last night- and what was up with batmans voice right?? but heath was perfection!! love him! talk to u later lovely and c u thurs. looking forward to the playing dress up ;P i really hope they fit!! *crossing fingers*

BREAKING DAWN!!!

Get this widget!

Going to see-

THE DARK NIGHT!!!

so pumped!

now...what to wear???

WE THE KINGS SHIRT!!!

THE HOST!!!

finally!!! i just finished the host that i started at the end of may!!! no i'm not an abnormally slow reader i just...couldn't get into it so i stopped reading it. and then like a week ago sarah asked for it back and when i brought it too her and she asked if i liked it and of course i had to tell her that i didn't finish it so she made me take it back and finish it. so i did and IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!! lots of tears lots of tears and happiness and confusing emotions and such....SO AMAZING!! so if ur reading the host or planning on it- get past the first 300 pgs before giving up on it because by that time u won't b able to put it down! neways...
hmmm whatelse to talk about???
i love these question marks ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
and i babysat for THREE little kids today so if i start acting like a 2 year old just ignore it...
hmm hmm hmm!!!!
TOMORROW IS MY FIRST DAY HOME ALONE IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh wow i'm pumped!!!!

NEW SONGS!!!!

ooooook so!!!! i went on an ITUNES SHOPPING SPREE!!!!! yayayayayayay!!!
i think they are pretty awesome...
1) Go On, Say It by Blind Pilot (free song of the week! always get those!)
2) The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin (a pat recomendation)
3) I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry (way too catchy to pass up!)
4) Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis (ode to my CRAZY geom. class!)
5) Jersey by Mayday Parade (another pat recomendation)
6) Three Cheers for Five Years by Mayday Parade ( guess who recomended it!!)
7) They Say by Scars on Broadways (another free song...its interesting...)
8) Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend (LOVE THIS SONG!!!)

oh so much fun and now i'm rocking out to my new tunes!!!!!!! i wanna get up and D-A-N-C-E!!! but i'm kinda tired of doing that for now so...

PAVAN and SWIM TEAM are O-V-E-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now i can finally sleep!!!!
off to the pool- hoping those millions of crunches helped during the past two weeks!!! lol!!!

HERE'S KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!

hey bloggers!!! so my bff is here at my house and we're waiting to go to swim practice for the
SMIM-A-FUND!!!!!!!!!!!!
where we have to swim 70 LAPS!!!!! ewwww.....
but i want her to say hi cuz shes part of the WONDERFULLY WONDERFUL ASPACK!!!!! so...here she is-

why hello!!! it's catherine! being hungry w. allyson...off to fill my cheeks w. yummy morsels!!



sooo...im back! i was just letting everything just sit here ready for me when i come back!! lol...anyway, hi 2 ppl who have too much free time & r reading this! im probably off being busy and productive unlike u...so, get urself off ur butt!!

ok so i defintaly didn't get to censor this but i would just like to say that kitty spends all her time with a book so...productive or not
u decide...
so i have to go get din din- or dinner for u ppl but whatever!!!
love love love!!

day un of week deux

ahhh so tired and lots of blisters and sore feet but...
I FINISHED CITY OF BONES!!!!!!! it was so good- fantasy all the way, had a kind of harry potter plot with the evil power seeking villain that disappears and raises again, and a hidden life unregarded to the rest of the world. it was amazing and i can't wait to get my hands on the 2nd one.
i have a really long list of books to read:
~finish eragon
~read eldest
~finish the host
~read Samaritan
~read i am the messenger
~read the 4th maximum ride
~read city of ashes
~start the that really cool series that pat told me about but i can't remember the name of
and i think thats it...maybe...oh wait
new addition
~read nobody's princess
~read nobody's prize
and i'm hoping thats it cuz there is no way i'm gonna read all those
but i have to read breaking dawn when it comes out and untamed: house of night book 4 when it comes out and the 3rd book of the eragon series when it comes out and the 3rd book in the mortal instruments series.
wow
i'm going to be reading...alot!!!

my most embarrassing moments...

i've never been one of those ppl to just know what their top 5 most embarrassing moments are when asked. i'm sure i have plenty but i don't remember them and when i do i try to forget. i feel like i haven't had any extremely embarrassing moments in a while. but...in the past two weeks i have had two events that are both mindblowingly strange and really quite embarrassing and so without further ado i will write them out.

Incident #1:
it was a long night after swim practice probably 2 weeks ago and i had finished eating dinner and wanted to get some ice cream. my dad and brother were getting strawberry but i didn't want any of it so i decided to have my vanilla with hot fudge and sprinkles- how fun!! so i had my ice cream all scooped out and got the hot fudge and realized it was getting empty so when i put it in the microwave for 45 seconds on high (which is what the instructions says to day i might add) i decided to put it in upside down. after like 30 seconds i started to hear this sizzling popping sound and ran over to the microwave to slam open the door. at the exact same moment that i did, the lid exploded sending the bottle of steaming hot fudge everywhere, and on me. as i was cleaning up the microwave and the kitchen i noticed that my arm and neck felt like they were stinging so when i looked down i saw that in like 5 mins my arm and neck had little blisters on them from the burning hot fudge. i told my dad and had him look at them but i just told my mom that i had burnt myself with the curling iron again (i do it often and most of the time it looks like hickey...) and that i scratched my arm. eventually i told her but i still have like little scabs from where it blistered and now they are s...l...o...w...l...y healing.
watch out for hot fudge!

Incident #2:
on friday night we were hanging out and i had to go home but the rest of my friends decided to go for a drive with kait bhind the wheel- i'm not really sure y but she had a really good cd that i wanted to burn so last night on the way home pat and i both asked for it but somehow he still got to take it bcuz he said he would burn it faster or something, i don't know but i told him that today i was gonna show up at his house after church and get the cd from him when i was on a walk with my dog. so as i was leaving my mom goes "are u gonna stop by jenny's" and i said yes bcuz i had to give her one of the cds so my mom decides that she got some really good cantaloupe and watermelon and that i should take it over to jenny's. and i was like oh god no i'm gonna look like such a dork but whatever. so i grabbed my bag to carry the stupid fruit in and got my dog and we started our walk. before i had even left i had talked to patrick and told him i was coming and to answer the door when i got there. so i walking and walking and walking and i ran into his mom and i was like oh good i know hes home and everything. as i round the corner i see jenny and her mom pulling out of the neighborhood and i'm just standing there thinking now "oh my freaking god i'm carrying fruit around with me for nothing!!! u have got to be kidding me!!" bcuz now there was no way i was gonna leave the cantaloupe and watermelon on there doorstep. so i kept walking cuz let me tell u i really wanted that cd and when i finally got to the pats house i had skamp and he was like pulling on me but i walked up to the front door and rang the door bell. nobody came. so i did i again. nobody came. so then i though oh it must b broken. but at that exact moment a bunny flew out of one of their front bushes and skamp like dove towards it which means i almost fell over, almost taking out half of there plants on their doorstep. so when i got skamp all settled down i decided to knock. once. twice. THREE times and NOBODY ANSWERED and the thing is that i knew they were home. so i took skamp and i walked away like a complete idiot with melon and no awesome cd.
so pat ur gonna bring me that cd on monday night at swim- and get a new doorbell or maybe a hearing aid!!

ok i have to go pack to go to sarahs so i'll c u all later and get a really good laugh out of this cuz i felt like a complete and total idiot and klutz and you won't bring these up later, ever!!!!

Pavan- first week!!

ok so i'm just gonna do like little (ya- it didn't turn out so little...) review of pavan just to give u an idea of how obsessed with dancing i am and how much fun it is!

Attire:
black leotard
pink tights
shorts/skirt (only after ballet class)

Hair:
ALWAYS a clean bun- usually alot of hairspray and bobby pins to keep it in place

Stuff i always need:
DANCE SHOES!! (ballet soft shoes, pointe shoes, black jazz shoes, tan jazz shoes, flat tap shoes, heel tap shoes)
leg warmers
sweatshirt
ipod
camera
money
book (right now City of Bones- part of the mortal instruments series and REALLY good if u into fantasy which everyone seems to be right now!)
planner (to try to keep my life incredibly organized)
sunglasses
lunch

Schedule during the typical day:
6am- wake up and get in the shower, go through daily routine, do hair, put on leo and tights with regular clothes over it (cuz we don't need ppl thinking dancers are ne weirder than we are!!)
7:20am- get on the bus at the middle school with annan and kitty, spread my bags EVERYWHERE!!
7:50am- pick up the loud obnoxious kids from the other school where i am forced to move all my bags. (annan and i have this theory that ppl don't like the dancers bcuz they won't sit newhere near us like we bite or something, which we don't just for the record! we think its from last year bcuz we spend the last 3 days at the regular high school so we can get used to the stage space and mark our pieces but...the theater kids think the stage is theirs so they don't want nebody on it even tho its out time slot to have it. so we got kicked off the stage last year and i'm really hoping that doesn't happen agian...)
8:45am- we arrive at the high school and i lug all my stuff off the bus and we sit outside (or inside depending on how hot it is) for one of the louden county buses to come and pick us up.
8:55am-we ride over to the shenandoah conservatory that has dance studio space
9:10am- we run into the studio (usually late from the bus ride)
9:10-10:45am- ballet class with a LIVE ACCOMPANIST!!! which is just mindblowingly amazing and really awesome!!! and we can't wear ne shorts or skirts in ballet class so i'm always freezing until we get warmed up. we usually spend 30 mins at the barr and then do a petite allegro, across the floor combos like leaps, work on turns, and then do a grande allegro with a reverence at the end.
10:45-12noon-we work on one of our performance pieces, usually the lyrical (lyrical is a combination of ballet and modern) piece that we are doing to apologize by timberland. its really fun and i like the choreography but its a bit sloppy bcuz ur so free to interpret the movement to make it ur own that sometimes it looks really bad but we have all next week to clean it. or we do our ballet piece sometimes that is really quite pretty. both of them back me pant and sweat but the tricky thing is is to make it look completely effortless...which is very hard sometimes!!
12noon-12:30pm- LUNCH!! get to sit and talk to annan and sarah, everyone else is so quiet and they never want to b in the conversations.
12:30-12:45pm- work on our other piece- just a runthrough to keep in fresh.
12:45-1:55pm- MY FAVORITE CLASS OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!! its a hip hop (ya not my fav- i look so white doing it but the good thing is that nobody is really good at it so...) and jazz class and its so much fun. we're doing a latin jazz piece and it really really really fast and precise and its so fun!!! but shes tough and really intense- i wish i could have her all year cuz i love her style and i feel like i'm getting better rather than not improving at all. so when we run through this piece, if we mess up we have to do 5 push ups for every time we messed up. i only did 5 yesterday but i'm pretty sure more push ups are in my future but there was one girl who spent practically the entire afternoon looking at the floor bcuz shes a ballet dancer and if felt so bad for her. its a great piece and SO FUN!!!
1:55pm- annan and i run out of the studio to make sure the bus doesn't leave us (we have to leave 20 mins b4 everyone else to get back to the hs and its so STUPID!!!)
2:10pm- wait for the rest of pavan to let out, annan and i usually change out of our clothes bcuz we are already really sweaty and sitting on a really loud bus with no air conditioning isn't my idea of fun
2:20pm- we leave for home, i read or listen to my ipod, or talk but usually i'm SO tired that i just don't want to form sentences! the stupid kids in the front makes TONS of noise and its so annoying that i just want to break the guitar they use to sing and just tell them to shut up!
3:36pm- back at the middle school!!!! and my day is done- i usually nap b4 going to swim practice or whatever else i have to do, go to bed at 10ish and wake up and do it all over again the next day!!!

5 MOST USED PHRASES IN PAVAN:
5) "girls!! remember ur posture- pull up, zip up ur ribs, hips facing forward, shoulders over hips. ur movement should come from ur legs, not ur torso!"
4) "use ur extremities- make them beautiful!!! it does u no good to have beautiful posture, arms and legs if ur paying no attention to the lines that are created with ur hands and feet. POINT UR FEET!!!!!!"
3) "use ur head- it should follow ur arm, engage ur viewer, make them want to watch u, dance with ur ENTIRE body, i want to c ur entire head move not just ur eyes!!!"
2) "when ur turning, feel that force pulling ur upper half up and keep it lifted while really PUSHING into the floor with ur feet!! USE UR SPOT GIRLS!!!"
and for the number one!!
1) "USE UR PLIE, UR MOVEMENTS, TURNS, BALANCES, EVERYTHING, WILL BE NOTHING WITHOUT A DEEP DEEP PLIE!!!!!!!!!!!"

DAY 5- LAST DAY OF WEEK ONE!!!

i get to sleep in tomorrow and not dance for two entire days before i go back to my crazy busy schedule!!!!!!! i'm pumped and i'm gonna to absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

day three

AND ITS SO MUCH FUN!!!

day one...

uhhhh too tried to explain- i might later but probably not. i'm gonna go get a power nap b4 a KILLER swim practice. i swear if i don't loose like 10 lbs from two weeks of dancing all day and swimming every evening then i'm pretty sure there's no hope for me in the weight loss programs of the world. my abs are killing me...ouch...ouch...ouch...ouch...and my legs- i think i've taken to waddling from sitting in splits for 60 SECONDS!! ugh.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

editing...

so i need a new name- ne suggestions???

PAVAN!!!

ok so PAVAN stands for Preforming And Visual Arts Northwest just in case u didn't know and its where students from all around my area audition to be in this two week intensive program. u can go for dance (ME!!! and Annan and Sarah!!!), art, singing (Kitty!!), acting, jazz band, or guitar. i think i got them all... for the dancers u had to come in to an audition class for about an hour and then preform a prepared solo in front of the judges/instructors. it was pretty intense but i got in- obviously- and it starts MONDAY!!! i'm kinda pumped bcuz i get to c sarah and annan everyday which is SO amazing but...i did it last year and i defiantly hated it the first entire week because i just kept on focusing on how everybody else was so much better then me and i didn't have much classical ballet training or any good modern training so it was hard but this year i will have fun and it was turn out amazingly!!! hopefully...cross my fingers...wish upon a shooting star...
anyways, hmmm what else???
oh i'm going to babysit the 3 (!!!) little kids across the street, the youngest one will b asleep i think so it should b easy. and...i feel like there was something extremely importante that i completely cannot remember so...
i'm so super hungry- food calls

hehe!!

What Allyson Means
A is for Amazing
L is for Lovesick
L is for Luscious
Y is for Young
S is for Silly
O is for Openhearted
N is for Naive
and...
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!
i'm decking myself out in all red, white, and blue!!

ok time for some daily ramblings and not-so-exciting happenings...

hmmm where to start?
i will start with complaining about being in the throws of a swim team, with a ridiculously annoying coach, and how much i love swimming just not when i loose...which is alot!
ok so our team is alittle unconventional (or at least where we live) but we having morning practice on tuesday (used to b more but they cut it down to one day) and i love waking up and getting in the water (even tho its FREEZING) but it just feels good and makes me motivated. i was, of course, doing our warmup, shivering in the water and swimming my laps dreading the meet that night which is weird for me but...
the night before my mom had been putting in the entries for last nights meet and i was helping her, reading off what the coaches had put us in and as i got down to the relays i knew exactly who was on the A team by even looking at it but then the B and C teams get alittle mixed up sometimes depending on whos on vacation or away. this week pat and kitty's familys are on vacation so its sad bcuz i love them both but i didn't think nething about it. as i read off the B relay team i realized that i wasn't on and and that there was nobody to swim the free style leg so i moved on to the C relay team and guess who was on it??? ya me!! not a happy realization especially since i was swimming the BUTTERFLY LEG!!!!!!! eh it was horrible and i argued argued with my mom about switching me out of it and into the freestyle spot on the B team but she wouldn't do it. if pat or kitty had been there, they would have done it but no, they had the amazing idea to go on vaca on the exact same week so i was stuck.
then at the meet last night i did...ok but not the best. when we got to the relay i was FREAKING OUT and my dad was timing in my lane so i grabbed onto his arm and just waited there shaking. it was the most horrible feeling but when it was time to go i just jumped in and did my freakishly horrible butterfly but when the last freestyle leg of our relay time came to the wall WE BEAT THE B TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and niki and i seriously got out of the water and jumped in a circle and SCREAMED!!! it was so much fun!! and my ribbons ended up looking like italy so i've been Mexican, Japanese, and Italian this year!!

hmmmm...
so i couldn't think of an appropriate title for this so it will go untitled...for now...until i think of a good one...or maybe it will be untitled forever...
ok way too much thinking about untitledness.
actually i don't even know what i'm gonna talk about so if u don't feel like reading my random ramblings then i should probably put a disclaimer saying that if u happen to fall asleep or have the sudden urge to stand up, walk away from ur computer, and make ur life much more exciting than mine at anytime when ur reading this then u r perfectly normal so, not to worry.
i'm at my grandmothers for a couple days actually today and tomorrow. we're going to c fiddler on the roof (yes i am a theater dork and i'm so proud of it!!!) and i'm pretty pumped, not gonna lie! i love being here and all that jazz... and my grandmother got a new computer so i LOVE it because i have this crazy fascination with keyboards. i like the sound of them and the way they feel and just typing on them is so cool, ya so ok alittle more then ur average strange quirk but it works for me.
lalalalalalala
hum dum dum
i'm peeling really bad from my stupid sunburn on my face, nowhere else, just my face. i got it from the pool day i had with my girlies on...tuesday. of course i got burnt because i always do but the pain is so worth the tan. and the cute little freckles i get from being in the sun. and the really adorable white line on my nose that i get from when i wrinkle my nose if i squint in the sun. i used to hate it but as u can see i have no problem now telling u how adorably cute i think it is. while we were at the pool i made a playlist from paiges ipod (she has the best musical taste ever!!) so i got some accidental love, tender hearts in a blender, vamipes on a weekend, lullabies, and confessions from the car dashboard. its pretty amazing and frippin sweet! hehehe
ok so i'm calling it a night...well atleast on here
i think i'll change some of my pics first tho...

ode to the very late nights and way too early mornings...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

choosing sides

we need to talk
ok
but i'm not sure what to say
ok
it could be good
it could be exalting
it could be exciting
it could be exhilarating
it could be terrific
it could be great
but it probably won't be
it could be bad
it could be heartbreaking
it could be numbing
it could be painful
it could be horrible
but it might not be
which path to take
which road to choose
which sign to follow
which footprints to leave
i'm finished, i'm on my way

4 GIRLS AND 1 REALLY BIG CITY

tonight's our first swim meet again Edinburg...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

YAY new pics!

OHH SUMMER

so it's finally the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER BREAK!!! and i'm free to do what i want any old time! well not really but pretty much! i love the stiffling heat and sleeping in and swimming and anything assosiated with summer like...NO SCHOOL! to celebrate, we had a girly day at the pool with kitty and kay and paigy! it was too fun except, i burnt my buns and back a little bit but i think it'll fade by tomorrow and then my back and such will be even with my front because as of right now i'm tan on the front but i forgot to flip. oops ;P
lalalalalala! Nothing bad could ever come from summer!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

WHY TODAY??????

ode to the daily happenings of a teenager...

not much happening around here. i'm pretty much wasting time waiting for kitty to call me about the POOL!!!!! tomorrow. she's a lifeguard and she's doing a pool party tonight so she said she wouldn't call until late...i'm feeling the effects of late- so tired. zzzzzz. wait what am i talking about??!!??! i'm supposed to young, vigorous, and full of energy at late hours of the night. lalalala! i hate how much time i have to spend waiting for people, it's so annoying. oh i know i'll make a coolio scenario of...

KAPTAIN (yes spelled with a k for the comic book effect!) KITTY AND HER LIFEGUARDING ADVENTURES!! (herioc theme plays in the back)

the story opens with an innocent day in the life a lifeguard. Kaptain Kitty is working a pool party for nanda's 10th birthday and is hoping to get alittle of that scrumptious cake over by the mom cluster. she scans the pool and sits back in the cracked plastic lifeguarding chair and rests with her orange lifesaving noodle. suddenly a weak cry for help pierces the otherwise silent night air.
Victim: HELP ME *gurgle gurgle* HELP ME *splash splash*
Kaptin Kitty snaps to attention looking at the water for the drowning victim. all the by standers and children have noticed by this time and are now calling on Kaptin Kitty to save the day. making a heroic jump from the high lifeguarding stand, Kaptin Kitty makes a spash and with a perfect dive is in the dark blue water reflecting the hot night. she searches once more for the victim and her eyes find the splashes soon enough. she starts an aggressive freestyle towards the frantic cries for help.
KK: don't worry i've got you now. grab on to my super lifesaving noodle and i'll get u too the edge.
Victim: *sputtering noises and water coughing*
Kaptin Kitty pulls the drowning girl up onto the edge of the pool and climbs out effortlessly and takes the necessary precautions to make sure she is not injured and is breathing. the little girl is eternally grateful and smiles and hugs Kaptin Kitty, thanking her immensely.
Kaptin Kitty will be forever known in our hearts as the girl who saved the pool party and used the orange noodle to do it!
*heroic theme plays once more as story closes to an end*
TA DA!!!

oh god...i have no life!

The super-fighting-i'm-so-obligated-by-the-headband-owner-ninja pictures plus some other random ones!

IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE 2007-2008 SCHOOL YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M NOT A FRESHMAN ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!
AND SUMMER IS TOTALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

going to lay out in the sun...

i've got sunglasses, bikini, book, and sunscreen! i'm ready to go!!

We have storms, storms, and more storms!!

i love this kind of weather with creepy huge thunderstorms and amazing pelting rain! and there's NO SWIM PRACTICE!!! ok swims not that bad becasue i love to see everybody but still, i love days off.

ITUNES!!

i just went on an itunes shopping spree! ok well i'm not sure it was quite a shopping spree, not enough mindless buying for it to be qualified as that but here's what i bought:
~Stay Pretty by Farewell
~Lets Dance to the Joy Division by The Wombats
~Viva la Vida by Coldplay
~All Around Me by Flyleaf
YAY! now i just have to get them on my ipod but it might b a couple days...oh well!

i've got water in my ears and i'm not going to butterfly!!

lala talking to pat...had a hard swim practice and i beat kitty in fly so now her, my coach, my assistant coach, and brother who is also assistant coach too want me to do fly in the meet and forever and ever which i am so NOT doing! but whatev. pats stealing my attention. c ya later! peace!

good feeling gone. what was that 10 mins? less? u know it's really quite amusing how my mom can ruin my whole mood in 2 seconds flat. i swear she sets the world record for making the most people upset in the least amount of time. she does it like a pro.

i feel so relaxed and peaceful. i took a bubble bath (girly cliche #1) put on my plaid huge blue fuzzy pj pants with a cute tank (girly cliche #2), put my hair up in a messy bun (girly cliche #3), watched a good-cry-your-eyes-out-they-live-happily-ever-after chick flick (girly cliche #4) ate dinner but not much so i'm not extremely full, listened to calming music (girly cliche #5) and now i think i will go curl up with all my pillow and blankets in my bed and read twilight (girly cliche #6), and i'll probably go to bed early and dream about anything and everything (girly cliche #7). i wish i could keep this feeling forever, it makes me feel so together. i love it. good night and sweet dreams.

BONJOUR MES AMIS!!

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!

My bored slideshow

SUMMER IS HERE!!!!!!!!

I AM MARKING TODAY THE FIRST OFFICIAL DAY OF SUMMER!!! (i'm pumped! yay!) these are my reasons for this amazing declaration:
#1. it was a balmy and ridiculous 95 degrees today and i love the warm temperatures! i love not having to wear a jacket and not having 4 layers on and NOT cold hands and NO extra blankets at night and sunglasses (i'm up to 4 pairs!) and open windows!
#2. i have my first bad sunburn of the year! why the explanation point? well...no matter how hard i try NOT to get burn and get weird tan lines it never works (believe me i've tried everything especially SPF 50 suntan lotion and it works better than everything else but) at the end of the day i'm still RED! so i have horrible bikini tan lines and i'm peeling, just another proof that summer is here!
#3. swim team started on tuesday which i've already written about but i love swimming!!
#4. swimming in the quarry and the river with all my AMAZING people like i love to hate to do every year. don't laugh, those fish are HUGE and SCARY!! ewwww! i don't do slimmy things (or boys! hehehe inside joke!)
neways i'm so EXCITED about summer and it's almost the end of the school year (YAY!) only one more week left to go. ahhh i can't wait for sleeping in! and of course my lovely running partner...be ready! ;P

Going to the academic banquet and i look AMAZING! not to be conceded or anything...
i'm going because i got all A's this year and i think i'm lettering in academics.

I'm like a little fishy! wellllll... not quite!

ok so swim team has officially started and i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. i mean i love it for my paigy and kitty because i do it with then every year but it kinda stinks since everybody else (who's in high school) did the high school team and are in so much better shape than me and I HATE LOSING! i never thought i was a competiter but it drives me CRAZY when i don't win...which is probably why gym class bugs me so bad! neways i guess i'm stuck with this rediculously wet sport until i get to dance again and then i MIGHT go back to being sane. until then...well lets just say i'll be sucking alot of water. ;P

Dance Recital Slideshow

IT'S RECITAL DAY!!! I'M PUMPED!! GOOD LUCK TO ME!!☺

hey

i need to blog and shake this all off but i can't b/c my mom wants me to go to bed so i guess i'll deal with it. i really hate crying. idk but i just can't ever justify the fact that i'm sitting there crying and i have to eventually drag myself back up and get over it so technically what's the point right? why can't i just be emotionless becasue it would be easier than thinking i'm doing everthing wrong becasue obviously i am since that's the only thing my teachers can tell me so i'm feeling freaking on TOP OF THE WORLD...not

HEY IT'S DANCE WEEK EVERYBODY!!
MAY 19- 25th I'M LIVING AND BREATHING DANCE!
IT'S CRAZY BUT I LOVE IT!

eh

oh i'm sooooo bored. plucking my eyebrows and it HURTS! ouch. oh i've hit an all time low.

hmmm. do i have a soundtrack?

so i've been thinking alot...well that is what a couple hours of church is for right? and out of the many things i thought about (like what i should wear this week, now that's a tough one and i'm still pondering that!) i kept thinking what would be the perfect song from my life. i mean there are just some people, granted you don't know much about them except the parts of themselves that they choose to let others see but, that you can look at and just know that there is a perfect song for them. it just pops into your head and then you wonder if that person would agree with you if they knew what you were thinking. and so the quest for the perfect soundtrack began. first i looked through my ipod, because anyone who knows me understands it is pretty much my life, and i had this theory that maybe your most played songs portrayed you. obviously i was wrong seeing as how my songs that are most played are the farthest away from my soundtrack. and then i had a revelation. what if your soundtrack isn't just one song but a medley. here is my list of songs that make up what should be on my soundtrack
#1-Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls : for the dying romantic inside of me that i'm having trouble understanding
#2-Collide by Howie Day: for the times when i just want to be by myself and not let the world in
#3-Dancing by Elisa: obviously the name draws me to it but i think there is something in there deeper than that, i think it portrays the vulnerability of my life, how subject it is to change, and how no matter how lost or hopeless i feel i can always return to my dancing.
#4-Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge: for the trusting, spontaneous, and crazy lover i hope to be
#5-Hum Hallelujah by Fall Out Boy: other than the totally random and carefree things that this song brings i love these lyrics: "The road outside my house is paved with good intentions, hire a construction crew cuz it's hell on the engines. You are the dreamer and we are the dream. i could write this better then you ever felt it. so Hum Hallelujah."
#6-Into the West from The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: this song is like inspiration in like 5:46 for me
#7-Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown: to remind me that i am a white girl who was not born to do hip hop
#8-Le Festin by Camille: a beautiful french song that reminds me that there is so much to the world than Virginia
#9-Misery Business by Paramore: for the punk rock chick i wish i could be
#10-The Color of the Winds from Pocahontas: ok so its from my favorite disney movie and you have admit that this song is amazing if you really listen to it. follow your inner leaves.
#11-The Return from Spirited Away: shows the love and release of a relationship, i wish i didn't have trouble with letting go.
#12-Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings: for the crazy lovestruck teenager i want to be/will be/am.
#13- These Walls by Teddy Geiger: "Cuz everybody tries to put some love on the line, and everybody feels a broken heart sometimes. and even when i'm scared i'm have to try to fly. sometimes i fall but i've seen it done before, i'm gonna step outside these walls."
#14- Think Twice by Eve 6: for the person inside me who finds it so hard to just say that i'm sorry and for the person inside me that scared of committing and getting attached.
#15-Thriller by Micheal Jackson: for the lovely tacky 80's groupie that i am
#16-Oh, It is Love by HelloGoodbye: carefree and loving and peaceful and a sense of contentment, how i want to be

ok so through this i have realized that i'm kind of complex and that what people "pretend" to project to other people may have nothing to do with who they really might be. sometimes i wish so bad that i had a different life or i lived somewhere else or i loved different people or different things mattered to me but then i can step back and see that you know i wouldn't want it any other way because if i was different then i wouldn't truly be me.

so tired...need energy...or caffine could work too...

GOING TO A LOCK IN!

and...
I'M SO EXCITED!
i don't even know what we're doing and i'm still PUMPED!
YAY! ☺

I'M SO EXCITED!!! well obviously! plus i thought this was pretty cool! ♥ the bday chicka

IT'S MY 15TH BIRTHDAY!!!

HELP! I'M GOING CRAZY!

i hate being obsessed with things! it drives me crazy but i can't help it and then my parents get all crazed because they hate it when i'm obsessed with things. and i hate being scared of my parents or to ask them to do things or the fact that they are so judgemental that i can't do anything with out thinking oh god i'm gonna get a huge lecture with this. i hate the fact that they don't think anyone is good enough and that look my mom gives when she wants to say something but she won't but you can tell it's defiantly a disapproving look. i hate not knowing what's going on because i'm not allowed to go. i hate thinking or wanting to call but i can't make myself do it. i hate wanting to talk but no one to talk to. i hate working around other people's schedules, why can't they work around mine? i hate being in and feeling amazing one minute and then feeling like this the next. i hate that i can't ever make anybody happy no matter how hard i try. i hate wanting to cry but knowing that i can't because i'm just not supposed to be that stupid girl in the corner crying her eyes out. i hate having one of those days. i hate feeling gross. i hate feeling alone. i hate being bored out of my mind and i could fix it but somethings always stopping me. i hate wasting my time on stupid things and not having enough time for the important people. i hate not having hugs every time i need them because someones not always there. i hate being told that she liked me better when i was little. i hate not being who i am. i hate not know who i am.

PIZZA

im craving pizza so badly right now and guess what is in the oven baking as i type? that's right! PIZZA! i'm so excited i can harly stand it! i decided to put a pic with my account and i love these chucks even tho i can't find them because i lo♥e my mommy's sheepy blanket! the story behind the sheepy blanket goes...my uncle (the class clown of our small family) gave my dad this blanket that was gray and black with white sheep all over it and then one black sheep. he told him that he was always the black sheep in the crowd of white ones. (i think my dad was a weird drum major with band groupies and a afro so... pretty much an all time nerd/geek- i forget which one is less offensive but appently one is!) so my dad laughed and packed it away for a long time until my mom and him got married (19 years ago...:0) and then needed a blanket. ever since then it has been my mom's blanket that she takes on trips, vacations, and sleeps with every night and of course we all love it! ok story time over!
have to go to tap class! eh.

oh amazing day!

i have to clean some more today but other than that the world is AWESOME! i wore my shirt sarah bought me today but i liked kitty's too so we traded and next time we r wearing each others! it was fun and kitty and derek are together again which is totally no excuse for the really gross pda but oh well i'll let the teenagers have their fun! we went outside in french today which was fun but my butt got all wet and really uncomfy. i have to clean and get ready for ballet!
WOOT FOR COSTUME WEEK!! even though so far all my costumes are absolutely HIDEOUS...i make them look hotttt! *sizzle* jk lol! and jeff is coming! i'm so excited because i haven't seen him since b4 he went to chicago. i'm pretty sure there will be some pregnant jokes on me but oh well i have gay men jokes for him too!
wb this evening if i live from my 5:20am morning! i'm crazy! ☻