HELP! I'M GOING CRAZY!

i hate being obsessed with things! it drives me crazy but i can't help it and then my parents get all crazed because they hate it when i'm obsessed with things. and i hate being scared of my parents or to ask them to do things or the fact that they are so judgemental that i can't do anything with out thinking oh god i'm gonna get a huge lecture with this. i hate the fact that they don't think anyone is good enough and that look my mom gives when she wants to say something but she won't but you can tell it's defiantly a disapproving look. i hate not knowing what's going on because i'm not allowed to go. i hate thinking or wanting to call but i can't make myself do it. i hate wanting to talk but no one to talk to. i hate working around other people's schedules, why can't they work around mine? i hate being in and feeling amazing one minute and then feeling like this the next. i hate that i can't ever make anybody happy no matter how hard i try. i hate wanting to cry but knowing that i can't because i'm just not supposed to be that stupid girl in the corner crying her eyes out. i hate having one of those days. i hate feeling gross. i hate feeling alone. i hate being bored out of my mind and i could fix it but somethings always stopping me. i hate wasting my time on stupid things and not having enough time for the important people. i hate not having hugs every time i need them because someones not always there. i hate being told that she liked me better when i was little. i hate not being who i am. i hate not know who i am.