My bored slideshow

SUMMER IS HERE!!!!!!!!

I AM MARKING TODAY THE FIRST OFFICIAL DAY OF SUMMER!!! (i'm pumped! yay!) these are my reasons for this amazing declaration:
#1. it was a balmy and ridiculous 95 degrees today and i love the warm temperatures! i love not having to wear a jacket and not having 4 layers on and NOT cold hands and NO extra blankets at night and sunglasses (i'm up to 4 pairs!) and open windows!
#2. i have my first bad sunburn of the year! why the explanation point? well...no matter how hard i try NOT to get burn and get weird tan lines it never works (believe me i've tried everything especially SPF 50 suntan lotion and it works better than everything else but) at the end of the day i'm still RED! so i have horrible bikini tan lines and i'm peeling, just another proof that summer is here!
#3. swim team started on tuesday which i've already written about but i love swimming!!
#4. swimming in the quarry and the river with all my AMAZING people like i love to hate to do every year. don't laugh, those fish are HUGE and SCARY!! ewwww! i don't do slimmy things (or boys! hehehe inside joke!)
neways i'm so EXCITED about summer and it's almost the end of the school year (YAY!) only one more week left to go. ahhh i can't wait for sleeping in! and of course my lovely running partner...be ready! ;P

Going to the academic banquet and i look AMAZING! not to be conceded or anything...
i'm going because i got all A's this year and i think i'm lettering in academics.

I'm like a little fishy! wellllll... not quite!

ok so swim team has officially started and i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. i mean i love it for my paigy and kitty because i do it with then every year but it kinda stinks since everybody else (who's in high school) did the high school team and are in so much better shape than me and I HATE LOSING! i never thought i was a competiter but it drives me CRAZY when i don't win...which is probably why gym class bugs me so bad! neways i guess i'm stuck with this rediculously wet sport until i get to dance again and then i MIGHT go back to being sane. until then...well lets just say i'll be sucking alot of water. ;P

Dance Recital Slideshow

IT'S RECITAL DAY!!! I'M PUMPED!! GOOD LUCK TO ME!!☺

hey

i need to blog and shake this all off but i can't b/c my mom wants me to go to bed so i guess i'll deal with it. i really hate crying. idk but i just can't ever justify the fact that i'm sitting there crying and i have to eventually drag myself back up and get over it so technically what's the point right? why can't i just be emotionless becasue it would be easier than thinking i'm doing everthing wrong becasue obviously i am since that's the only thing my teachers can tell me so i'm feeling freaking on TOP OF THE WORLD...not

HEY IT'S DANCE WEEK EVERYBODY!!
MAY 19- 25th I'M LIVING AND BREATHING DANCE!
IT'S CRAZY BUT I LOVE IT!

eh

oh i'm sooooo bored. plucking my eyebrows and it HURTS! ouch. oh i've hit an all time low.

hmmm. do i have a soundtrack?

so i've been thinking alot...well that is what a couple hours of church is for right? and out of the many things i thought about (like what i should wear this week, now that's a tough one and i'm still pondering that!) i kept thinking what would be the perfect song from my life. i mean there are just some people, granted you don't know much about them except the parts of themselves that they choose to let others see but, that you can look at and just know that there is a perfect song for them. it just pops into your head and then you wonder if that person would agree with you if they knew what you were thinking. and so the quest for the perfect soundtrack began. first i looked through my ipod, because anyone who knows me understands it is pretty much my life, and i had this theory that maybe your most played songs portrayed you. obviously i was wrong seeing as how my songs that are most played are the farthest away from my soundtrack. and then i had a revelation. what if your soundtrack isn't just one song but a medley. here is my list of songs that make up what should be on my soundtrack
#1-Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls : for the dying romantic inside of me that i'm having trouble understanding
#2-Collide by Howie Day: for the times when i just want to be by myself and not let the world in
#3-Dancing by Elisa: obviously the name draws me to it but i think there is something in there deeper than that, i think it portrays the vulnerability of my life, how subject it is to change, and how no matter how lost or hopeless i feel i can always return to my dancing.
#4-Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge: for the trusting, spontaneous, and crazy lover i hope to be
#5-Hum Hallelujah by Fall Out Boy: other than the totally random and carefree things that this song brings i love these lyrics: "The road outside my house is paved with good intentions, hire a construction crew cuz it's hell on the engines. You are the dreamer and we are the dream. i could write this better then you ever felt it. so Hum Hallelujah."
#6-Into the West from The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: this song is like inspiration in like 5:46 for me
#7-Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown: to remind me that i am a white girl who was not born to do hip hop
#8-Le Festin by Camille: a beautiful french song that reminds me that there is so much to the world than Virginia
#9-Misery Business by Paramore: for the punk rock chick i wish i could be
#10-The Color of the Winds from Pocahontas: ok so its from my favorite disney movie and you have admit that this song is amazing if you really listen to it. follow your inner leaves.
#11-The Return from Spirited Away: shows the love and release of a relationship, i wish i didn't have trouble with letting go.
#12-Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings: for the crazy lovestruck teenager i want to be/will be/am.
#13- These Walls by Teddy Geiger: "Cuz everybody tries to put some love on the line, and everybody feels a broken heart sometimes. and even when i'm scared i'm have to try to fly. sometimes i fall but i've seen it done before, i'm gonna step outside these walls."
#14- Think Twice by Eve 6: for the person inside me who finds it so hard to just say that i'm sorry and for the person inside me that scared of committing and getting attached.
#15-Thriller by Micheal Jackson: for the lovely tacky 80's groupie that i am
#16-Oh, It is Love by HelloGoodbye: carefree and loving and peaceful and a sense of contentment, how i want to be

ok so through this i have realized that i'm kind of complex and that what people "pretend" to project to other people may have nothing to do with who they really might be. sometimes i wish so bad that i had a different life or i lived somewhere else or i loved different people or different things mattered to me but then i can step back and see that you know i wouldn't want it any other way because if i was different then i wouldn't truly be me.

so tired...need energy...or caffine could work too...

GOING TO A LOCK IN!

and...
I'M SO EXCITED!
i don't even know what we're doing and i'm still PUMPED!
YAY! ☺

I'M SO EXCITED!!! well obviously! plus i thought this was pretty cool! ♥ the bday chicka

IT'S MY 15TH BIRTHDAY!!!

HELP! I'M GOING CRAZY!

i hate being obsessed with things! it drives me crazy but i can't help it and then my parents get all crazed because they hate it when i'm obsessed with things. and i hate being scared of my parents or to ask them to do things or the fact that they are so judgemental that i can't do anything with out thinking oh god i'm gonna get a huge lecture with this. i hate the fact that they don't think anyone is good enough and that look my mom gives when she wants to say something but she won't but you can tell it's defiantly a disapproving look. i hate not knowing what's going on because i'm not allowed to go. i hate thinking or wanting to call but i can't make myself do it. i hate wanting to talk but no one to talk to. i hate working around other people's schedules, why can't they work around mine? i hate being in and feeling amazing one minute and then feeling like this the next. i hate that i can't ever make anybody happy no matter how hard i try. i hate wanting to cry but knowing that i can't because i'm just not supposed to be that stupid girl in the corner crying her eyes out. i hate having one of those days. i hate feeling gross. i hate feeling alone. i hate being bored out of my mind and i could fix it but somethings always stopping me. i hate wasting my time on stupid things and not having enough time for the important people. i hate not having hugs every time i need them because someones not always there. i hate being told that she liked me better when i was little. i hate not being who i am. i hate not know who i am.

PIZZA

im craving pizza so badly right now and guess what is in the oven baking as i type? that's right! PIZZA! i'm so excited i can harly stand it! i decided to put a pic with my account and i love these chucks even tho i can't find them because i lo♥e my mommy's sheepy blanket! the story behind the sheepy blanket goes...my uncle (the class clown of our small family) gave my dad this blanket that was gray and black with white sheep all over it and then one black sheep. he told him that he was always the black sheep in the crowd of white ones. (i think my dad was a weird drum major with band groupies and a afro so... pretty much an all time nerd/geek- i forget which one is less offensive but appently one is!) so my dad laughed and packed it away for a long time until my mom and him got married (19 years ago...:0) and then needed a blanket. ever since then it has been my mom's blanket that she takes on trips, vacations, and sleeps with every night and of course we all love it! ok story time over!
have to go to tap class! eh.

oh amazing day!

i have to clean some more today but other than that the world is AWESOME! i wore my shirt sarah bought me today but i liked kitty's too so we traded and next time we r wearing each others! it was fun and kitty and derek are together again which is totally no excuse for the really gross pda but oh well i'll let the teenagers have their fun! we went outside in french today which was fun but my butt got all wet and really uncomfy. i have to clean and get ready for ballet!
WOOT FOR COSTUME WEEK!! even though so far all my costumes are absolutely HIDEOUS...i make them look hotttt! *sizzle* jk lol! and jeff is coming! i'm so excited because i haven't seen him since b4 he went to chicago. i'm pretty sure there will be some pregnant jokes on me but oh well i have gay men jokes for him too!
wb this evening if i live from my 5:20am morning! i'm crazy! ☻

SPIRITED AWAY ROX MY SOX OFF AND MAKES ME WANT TO DO THE MACARENA!☺

so i finally downloaded the entire thing onto my AMAZING ipod and now and listing to it. my favorite songs are the Reprise, Once Summer Day, and The Return. they are all so good and intensly mindblowing! me and kitty are both wearing the shirts we got from sarah for our bdays and mine is well pretty wonderful. uh oh- my mommy is kinda cracking under the pressure becasue my aunt has a bahgdad man (that's what we call him, he works for the gov't and is stationed in bahgdad hence the name...) that came to meet her here for 2 weeks and apperently he's wonderful so she's bringing him to my bday/mother's day thing which means extra cleaning and chores and such. oh well i can't wait to meet him even if everybody else isn't as excited. he seems worthy of frippin awesome status b/c hello my auntie is amazing!
g2g brother wanting on

Cleaning...eh! wb l8ter! ☺♪☼

Will You Be My Maid Of Honor?

i just got home from seeing maid of honor with my mom. it was a cliche feelgood chickflick kind of movie where the 1 in a million finds true love, everything works out and they live happily ever after.
i was reflecting
looking through the glass
and i realized
that my life is like one big puzzle
that i know i have to slove
except
i don't have the right pieces
and trying to shove them all togther
just so i can find my happy
isn't working anymore

you know that age old saying that people use when ur sad because something or everything is changing? the one about how when one door closes another opens. i feel like every door around me is slamming shut and somehow i can't find those doors that should be opening. i don't like change. i can't stand it and what i hate more is that i always thought that i could go with change but i take advange of the constants in my life. i don't like the feeling of drowing because i can't stop anything and what's worse is the fact that i can't tell anybody because i hate needing people. i hate having to depend on people because i think i should be able to take care of myself but i just can't do it. it makes me feel weak and i hate it.

Going for a walk with my puppy!

getting beautiful for my party and let me tell u it's hard work! oh well i have a too cute outfit so it's all worth it. my madre made the cutest cake with all of our names on it! so awesome. i have to be at church tomorrow so i have to pack my outfit and i can't decide what to wear but i have amazing skills so i think i'll figure it out! sarah's coming in like 4 mins and i'm still not dressed so g2g and i ♥ u! oh and pat- come to church tomorrow!
PEACE!

CRAZY MORNING!

so i woke up this morning and it was like 7:45 am so i thought oh i'm gonna go back to bed because it's been a REALLY long week. i pushed my covers back up around my face and got all comfy again but i noticed something didn't feel right. i felt my shorts and realized that they were my jean shorts i'd been wearing all day and my tee shirt and my socks! how weird! i thought my dad had carried me up the stairs and put me to bed right becasue i kind of remeber falling asleep on the floor of the living room after i got home from pats. but when i went to go ask my dad he said that i had got up and went to bed myself. IT WAS CRAZY!! but so funny!
MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 10 DAYS!!

SPRINGFEST

today was springfest! its this thing we do organized by the SCA where clubs and teams sign up for booths to do carnival like activities so of couse being the super involed persona that i am i was on the sf comittee and the spokesperson of a booth for my amazing sj swimmers! the thing is i'm don't even swim on the team! :D but i love them all so that is what i do. we had some water gun thing and pat and i ended up spraying each other and kitty(which made her really mad b/c she just can't take a joke sometimes but she doesn't understand when u get mad at her for calling u things like oh idk EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED- apperently i am!) ne ways pat got me to climb that stupid inflatable rock wall and i beat him once and landed gracefull b/c i am a dancer and all. but it ended up being a super crazy cool day!
11 DAYS UNTIL MY BDAY

oh and...

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 13 DAYS!! WOOT

ahhhh ello loves

oh where to begin?? well i just spent a frustrating 2 hours with my tap teachers and they yelled at us because the people who didn't know the dance weren't there and we have 2 more rehersals before recital week and then the concerts so yay. oh i can't wait! they are a wilson hall jmu on sat at 7 and sun at 3! ahhh my order is like this
Sat: Sun:
#3- jazz #3-jazz
#5-tap #5-tap
#13-becca's ballet #14-becca's ballet
#16-tappin co #17-drew's ballet
#18-drew's ballet #23-tappin co

i'm really mad because we are doing our really bad musical stage tappin co piece on sat and our really cool tap tappin co piece on sun so i defiantly want everybody to come sun.
anyways...
soooo tomorrow is SPRINGFEST and i'm dreading EVERY minute of it! ahhhhh but everythings in order and i *think* we have everything unless... no i'm not even going to jinx it.
so tired goin to bed!