here's my artistic compulsions before i go to bed

the icy voice breaks through my conscience
falters at the entrance but only for a split second
enough to realize that this simple thought could redeem it
could make it turn around and prevent all the reactions
all the pain
all the agony
all the hurt
all the wake of disaster it will leave
but that one humane thought
is rejected
like the new kid on the first day of school
thrown out the as soon as it walks in the mind
for the voice has one purpose and one purpose alone.

the icy voice enter through my conscience
and travels deep into my soul
it sees and almost admires
all the good
all the joy
all the excitement
all the gracefulness for having great friends and enjoying them always
but this isn't what it is looking for
it pushes farther down
watching the moments and memories i treasure the most
but it doesn't stop
for the voice has one purpose and one purpose alone

the icy voice invades my conscience
and searches thoroughly
because it know that those things
those things that it seeks
are at the bottom
suppressed for many years
and built upon for many days
it stirs them up inside of me and with a jolt
i remember
all the pain
all the agony
all the hurt
and i am the one left in the wake of disaster
i feel like i am falling
and no one will ever catch me
like i can no longer stand up to the world
and
i crumple, defeated and broken to the floor
for the voice has one purpose and one purpose alone
i have become the victim of the voice
of the life.